How long is grief supposed to last?

There is no fixed timescale. Most people find that the intensity of grief softens over the first year, even though sadness can return sharply around anniversaries or reminders for years afterwards. What matters is whether grief is gradually easing or staying just as intense and disruptive as it was at the start.

What is prolonged grief disorder?

It is a clinical term for grief that stays intense, consuming and disruptive to daily life for more than twelve months after a death in adults. It involves persistent longing for the person who died, difficulty accepting the loss, and problems engaging with work, relationships or plans that mattered before.

Is prolonged grief the same as depression?

No, though the two can occur together and can look similar from the outside. Grief tends to centre specifically on the person who died and reminders of them, whereas depression often spreads more broadly across mood, energy and self-worth. A clinical psychologist can assess which pattern fits, or whether both are present.

Can grief therapy be done online?

Yes. Assessment and therapy for grief can be delivered by video call, at a regular weekly time, in a private space you choose. Many people find this easier to fit around work and caring responsibilities than travelling to an appointment.

What if my grief follows a sudden or traumatic death?

Sudden, violent or unexpected deaths can bring symptoms that overlap with post-traumatic stress, such as intrusive memories or avoidance of reminders. A clinical psychologist can assess for this alongside grief and use trauma-focused approaches where they are needed.

Do I need a diagnosis before contacting a psychologist?

No. An assessment with a clinical psychologist is how a pattern gets identified in the first place. You do not need to know in advance whether what you are experiencing fits a particular clinical term.

Sep 9, 2026

Grief that does not lift: when to see a clinical psychologist

Grief that does not lift

Grief that does not lift after many months, or that stops you managing daily life, is worth taking seriously rather than waiting out. Most people move through grief gradually. When pain stays sharp, constant and unchanging for a year or more, a clinical psychologist can help you understand what is happening and work through it.

What ordinary grief looks like

Losing someone close brings pain that comes in waves rather than along a straight line. In the weeks after a death, most people feel shock, sadness, anger, guilt or numbness, sometimes within the same afternoon. Sleep and appetite often suffer. Concentration can go missing for weeks at a time. This pattern usually softens over the following months, even if it never disappears completely. Anniversaries, birthdays and small reminders can still bring grief back sharply years later, and that is ordinary too. Ordinary grief tends to move, even slowly, rather than staying fixed at its original intensity.

When grief becomes prolonged

For some people, grief does not soften with time. The loss stays as raw and consuming as it was in the first weeks, month after month. Daily tasks, work, relationships and plans for the future stay on hold. This pattern has a clinical name, prolonged grief disorder, used when intense grief continues beyond twelve months for adults and shapes most of a person’s day. It is distinct from depression or anxiety, though the three can occur together, and it responds to specific psychological treatment rather than resolving on its own.

Signs it may be time to get help

A few signs suggest grief has moved beyond what time alone is likely to resolve:

Longing for the person who died dominates most of each day, more than a year after the loss
Avoiding reminders of the person, or being unable to accept the loss as real
Difficulty recalling positive memories, or feeling that part of yourself died with them
Struggling to trust, plan or engage with people and activities that mattered before
Grief that has started to affect work, sleep, physical health or close relationships

Any one of these on its own is not unusual in early grief. Several together, persisting well past the first year, are worth discussing with a clinical psychologist.

How a clinical psychologist can help

A clinical psychologist can assess whether what you are experiencing fits the pattern of prolonged grief, depression, post-traumatic stress, or a combination, since treatment differs depending on which is at play. Assessment involves talking through the loss, its circumstances and how grief has affected your life since, without any assumption about what you should be feeling by now or how quickly you should have moved past it.

Approaches used

Treatment for prolonged grief usually draws on approaches with a trauma-informed, cognitive behavioural basis, adapted specifically for grief. Where a loss was sudden or traumatic, trauma-focused CBT or EMDR may be used alongside grief-specific work. Where anxiety or low mood sit alongside the grief, CBT or acceptance and commitment therapy can address those directly. NICE guidance recognises trauma-focused approaches for post-traumatic stress following bereavement, and a psychologist will explain which approach fits your situation before starting any course of treatment.

What sessions involve online

Sessions take place by video call, at a set time each week, in a private space of your choosing. Early sessions focus on understanding the loss and how grief is currently affecting your life, including sleep, work and close relationships. Later sessions work through specific memories, avoided situations or unhelpful patterns of thinking that keep grief locked in place, at a pace agreed with you throughout. Nothing is rushed, and the structure of each session is explained before it begins.

Clinical psychologists for Greenwich and south east London

We are clinical psychologists for Greenwich and south east London, working online with adults, including people in Blackheath, Charlton, Deptford, Lewisham, New Cross and Maze Hill. Greenwich stretches from the river at Cutty Sark, up through Greenwich Park towards Blackheath, with the Cutty Sark and Greenwich DLR stops and Greenwich and Maze Hill Southeastern stations putting central London within half an hour. Sessions run by video call, so where you live within that area matters less than finding a time each week that works around your routine. We will update this site as the practice develops.

When to seek help sooner

If grief has brought thoughts of not wanting to be here, or of harming yourself, that is a reason to seek help without waiting for a pattern to become clearer. A GP can arrange urgent support, and Samaritans can be reached on 116 123 at any hour. Grief that feels unmanageable does not need to fit a specific clinical description before it is taken seriously.